Archive for the ‘The Past’ Category

I really should have been more aware of my wife affair symptoms.  I never thought in a million years that I would have to be on the lookout, but as I can atest….It happens to the best of us.

When I think back to past conversations and extract little comments she made, I should have taken note to her actions and words.

I was too busy and consumed with “bringing home the bacon” to even notice my wife affair symptoms.

I have complied a small list from my personal experience for you to keep in mind:

• She is overly concerned about her weight
• Is frequently asking about cosmetic surgery (IE. Botox, lipo suction, breast implants, tummy tuck)
• New gym membership or time spent at the gym
• Leaves the room when taking phone calls and blames it on bad reception
• Weekend trips with the girl friends
• Smells differently
• Avoids eye contact
• Becoming more irritable
• Points out flaws quickly
• Doesn’t seem to mind when you are coming home later for work
• Drinks more frequently at home
• Consumes alcoholic beverages that you KNOW in the past she never liked
• Avoids physical touch
• Always has a headache when you initiate physical intimacy
• Is always running errands
• Withdrawals cash on her debit or credit card
• Stops doing normal tasks at the home
• Applies for a new credit card
• Opens a new bank/checking account

Obviously, I could go on and on with my list.  I mention these items for you to be on the alert.  Trust me brother, at one time or another all these wife affair symptoms were right before my eyes!

If you really think about it, how can two people that get married really trust one another?  Trust is not something that is  taken for granted but it is earned over time.   We all established trust while dating which leads to engagement which leads to marriage.  After we are married and are truly sacrificing for one another, we have now earned and given TRUST.

I found some great quotes that speak to the topic much better than I can explain.

• “We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”  – Walter Anderson

• “Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself.”                  – Unknown

• “To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” – George McDonald

• “You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough” – Frank Crane

• “Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

• “Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.” – Unknown
  

It is amazing to think back on all the great times my wife and I shared.  I can remember the excitement of all the events leading up to the marriage and the craziness it entailed.  Man the drama over the decisions of the wedding colors, the types of flowers, the type of  paper and font to use for the invitations.  I was living a true Soap Opera.  It was such a big deal to her and her mother and all I carried about was the night I could get that wedding dress off of her!

Looking back I have to smile on those days!  We were young, happy and on an eternal honeymoon.  We had nothing to do and no real bills….just spend time with one another and go on adventures.  It is hard to think that in only six years, the girl that I said, “I Do!” is not the same women that had an affair on me.